I have been struggling finding care for the Mini in the morning since last July when I started looking. I have reposted the job regularly and shared it in a range of places on social media. I thought that I had described the job well. Turns out I didn't and over the last couple day people decided to start telling me.
#1. My take home pay is about $22 per hour. I am putting aside close to a third of my take home pay for domestic help. But it seems that is not enough. Don't get me wrong, I know that these are important skills, but I guess I can't pay the going rates. Now I know.
#2. It seems that I not only can I not afford child care, I also can't seem to write a job description to save my life....
(I have removed group and people's last names for privacy.)
First thing that I noticed is that due to the way that I had described the job people thought that I was looking for a house cleaner for 2 hours a day and a babysitter for 2 hours a day. My bad.
I took feedback and made changes to the post. I forgot to change the post in each of the places that it was posted. I have since (I think) remedied the situation.
Then this morning I woke up to this:
Although a nice person named Jill defended me I still wanted to respond. I wanted to scream and say: When I was able bodied I could totally keep my house clean with 4-5 hours per week of uninterrupted time to work on it. I wanted to yell: How can I pay more than I take home for help at home?
Here is the point of this post:
Getting shamed for someone misunderstanding my post hurt my feelings, but I calmly commented to clear it up and made changes to the post.
The second post was an opportunity for me to respond to a negative person calmly and acknowledge that I may have made mistake in my original post. What I was surprised at is how much it bothered me.
I rarely think of MS as more than just a disease that I cope with, but lately as it pushes farther towards disability I am saddened by how hard thing are becoming for my family. I am fighting so hard and it seems that I just can't catch a break.
What is impressive with this post is the amount of time the author took rewording and correcting it. The issues that she found in her message to me were semantics. Never did she consider the ableism and rudeness that her post implied. Or if she did that was her intention. In the time between Edit 2 and Edit 3 - over 20 minutes, did she look up MS and think that her response was still appropriate?
She was right to assume that I am educated, I have a graduate degree. But having a graduate degree does not mean that I am not struggling with my finances or body now. Just because my body does not work well now does not mean that I don't know what can be done in 4-5 hours.
The hardest part about Multiple Sclerosis is that I woke up this morning and the holes in my brain were not really acting up. I got ready for work, got the Mini ready and although there was a lot of pain in my hands and legs, I was walking fine and my balance was good. It was looking like a good day. Within moments of getting to work I realized that my legs were not in a good spot. They are vibrating and burning and so painful. It doesn't matter if I am sitting or standing, they feel horrible. I can type fine, but I am having a hard time holding a pencil. So as I mentioned to the person on Facebook, I will make adjustments. I will teach from my desk. I will have the students come to me. I will use a presentation instead of writing on the board. I will avoid going to the copy machine.
The whole thing was disappointing: I wanted to have a great day, emotionally and physically. I wanted to find someone to help with the areas of daily living.
I know if I made more money it would be easier. I know if I had a partner at home it would be easier. I have neither of these things.
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